Aitana is no longer breastfed / Aitana ja no mama

La meua xiqueta ja no mama. Han sigut més de tres anys de vincle, des que va nàixer fins fa unes setmanes. Els començaments no van ser fàcils, sobretot per la meua ignorància, esgotament, vulnerabilitat... i per deixar-me dur per consells ben intencionats, però igual de mal / poc documentats. Sóc un poc cabuda i no em conforme fàcilment, així que vaig dur endavant la lactància exclusiva i vaig aconseguir lliurar-me de la típica "ajudeta" de llet artificial que molts pediatres recomanen alegrement. Crec, sincerament, que en el tema de l'alletament natural hi ha encara molta ignorància, també entre els professionals, però açò és un altre debat...
Com deia, els començaments van ser durs: a les nits, has d'adaptar el teu ritme al del bebè, els pits em feien mal, mastitis, etc.; però en general, tinc molt bon record de tota aquesta etapa perquè ho he fet per gust, perquè he volgut.

I ara, de sobte, tot ha acabat. La veritat és que ha sigut progressiu. Aitana ja no mamava més que per a dormir o quan necessitava un extra de contacte amb mamà (en caure un bac, en una situació nova que li provocava ansietat o, de vegades, quan estava avorrida...). A mi em preocupava el fet que volia reservar el calostre per a Martí, i no sabia massa bé com anava a gestionar-ho. De vegades, li déiem a Aitana que podria regalar-li la "teta" al seu germà, que seria el seu regal de Nadal, però ella no pareixia estar massa d'acord; a més, encara no és molt conscient de qui són els Reis d'Orient o el Pare Noel. Per altra banda, tenia els pits més sensibles i, de vegades, li demanava que mamara poquet perquè em feien mal. No obstant això, no crec que li haja influït massa, crec que ha sigut prou natural.
Mai pensava que arribaria aquest moment. De fet, m'imaginava alletant els meus dos fills (lactància en tàndem, es diu). Però Aitana ha decidit tallar un trosset del cordó umbilical i m'ha donat de nou una lliçó: que els nostres fills no són nostres, que no ens pertanyen i que hem d'aprendre a anar soltant-los de la mà perquè recórreguen el seu propi camí.
Trobaré a faltar la teua mirada, com m'abraçaves mentre mamaves, com m'acaronaves el melic i una xicoteta piga que tinc al costat, com ens deixares a tots "mocats" quan encara no tenies 2 anys i em vas dir "Mama, em dónes un poquet de teta?" Ara trobes altres maneres de suplir eixe contacte, busques la meua mà a les nits i l'abraces com si fóra una nina, em dónes un bes perquè sí, sense jo demanar-ho, juguem molt, fem projectes, em pentines, ballem, em dónes la mà...
El meu pit va ser el teu primer bressol només nàixer i sempre podràs tornar als meus braços quan necessites refugi.

My little girl is no longer breastfed. It has been more than three years of nurturing our bond since she was born until a few weeks ago. The beginnings were not easy, especially due my ignorance, exhaustion, vulnerability ... and following well-intentioned advice, but just as bad / little documented as I was. I'm a bit stubborn and I do not often take things for granted, so I carried on with my idea of exclusive breastfeeding and I got rid of the typical formula milk "aid" that many paediatricians recommend, at least in Spain, as a supplement to mother's milk. I sincerely believe that, regarding the issue of breastfeeding, there is still much ignorance, even among the health professionals, but that's another topic of discussion ...

As I said, the beginnings were difficult: at night, you have to adapt your rhythm to the baby, my breasts ached, mastitis, etc.., But in general, I have very fond memories of all this time due to the fact that I did because I wanted to.

And now, suddenly, it's over. The truth is that it was progressive. Aitana only sucked when she needed to sleep or when she wanted to be in touch with mom (whenever she hurt herself, in a new situation that causes anxiety or sometimes when she was bored ...). I was a bit concerned because I wanted to reserve the colostrum for Martí, and I didn't know very well how I would handle it. Sometimes, we told Aitana that could give her brother the "boob", that it would be her Christmas present, but she didn't seem to agree much, moreover, she is not very aware of who the Three Wise Men and Santa Claus are. On the other hand, my breasts were more sensitive and sometimes I asked her to stop sucking because it ached a bit. However, all in all, I do not think I influenced her much, I think it was quite natural.

I never thought it would get to an end. In fact, I imagined breastfeeding my two children. But Aitana has decided to cut a small piece of the umbilical cord and she gave me a new lesson: that our children are not ours, that they don't belong to us and that we must learn to loosen them from the hand, let them go, in order for them to walk their own paths.
I will miss your eyes as I held you in my arms while you caressed my navel and a small mole I have, how you left us dumbstruck when you were not yet 2 years old and told me "Mama, can I have a bit of tit? " Now, you have found other ways to find that extra time with mum, holding my hand at night as if you were hugging a doll, giving me a kiss just because you want to... We play a lot, we do projects, you brush my hair, we dance, you give me your hand...
My chest was your first cradle when you were born and you know that you can always come back to my arms when you need shelter.

Thanks for your comments.

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